Hogwarts Gets Inked
by cutetwins
Summary: At the beginning of their fifth year, The Marauders discover that a rumour going around Hogwarts infact happens to be very true. They strike an unlikely friendship with a squid. James/Lily Sirius/Remus in later chapters


"ANYONE FANCY GOING FOR A SWIM?!" Sirius rips his shirt off unveiling his toned rippling skin, Remus glanced up from his book for no longer than a second before blushing and diverting his eyes from Sirius.  
James drops his daisy chain he's putting together and leaps up on feet. "Count me in! I heard there-"  
"NO!" Shouts Peter. He pauses and softens his voice, "B-but.. You heard the rumours! There's a m-monstrous giant s-s-squid living in that lake."  
Remus sat there cross legged, departs his eyes from his book yet again and peers up at them.  
"Sirius, I can't help but think swimming in that lake today is a bit... perilous" He sniggers to himself sarcastically and reaches into his pocket, he takes out a chunk of chocolate and breaks a piece off. He nibbles on it.  
Peters eyes follow the chocolate as he finds himself backing away ever so slightly, cowering into the long grass. Peter crouches onto his knees, and gives a twitch.  
Sirius rolls his eyes and turns his head to James with anticipation. James nods. Then in an instant, James and Sirius are already striding down the hill over to where the Black Lake lies.  
Remus lets out a deep sigh and ponders back into his book, whilst Peter is still cowering in the long grass giving a intensive stare at the tree stump a few metres away.

Remus just about dropped his book upon seeing that James and Sirius were hauling what looked like a very large squid with them, towards himself and Peter. Peter must have noticed too as he was now cowering behind the taller boy, "R-Remus! It's th-the Giant Squid!" He squealed.  
"What the hell are you two doing?!" Remus asked, scrambling to his feet as he grabbed his wand from his pocket, now pointing it directly at the hideous squid.  
"It wants..." Sirius panted out of breath, "It wants a shrinking solution... And we said we'd h-"  
"DON'T POINT THAT THING AT ME YOU GREAT FOOL!" The squid yelled, in a shockingly abrasive tone as he flicked the wand out of Remus' hand with one effective swish of a tentacle, James and Sirius sniggered while Peter clung on to Remus' leg whimpering.  
Remus snatched his wand off of the ground and glared at the squid. "It's not right to mess with wizard nature! If we go giving it potions, things could go horribly, horribly wrong." Preached Remus with a look of slight worry on his face. Sirius gave a light chuckle, "Ohhh Moony stop worr-"  
"Put it back." Remus sternly interrupted. The squids face changes like a flick of a switch, glowing with anger, the tension building in the air, the heavy silent pause until... "DON'T. YOU. DARE. REFER TO ME AS 'IT'. I may not be a pondering satchel-carrying-know-it-all-nuisance of a boy, but I am NO object that you have the firm right to call IT."  
Remus rolls his eyes and give a deep sigh whilst turning his face to tree beside him. Before his sharp relisation, the vial of potion has already been snatched and has slithered its way out of his satchel in a blink of an eye and into the tentacles of the huge monstrous squid... Which will in less than a minute, transform to be a human sized creature. At this point, Remus does no actions of retaliation as he knows there is no stopping the squid now that the potion is in his droopy sleazy tentacles.  
Before the moments over, the squid has already necked the potion and starts morphing immediately, his face filled with horror as his tentacles slash around the long grass where Remus, Sirius, James and Peter stand. All eyes fixed on the defiant features rapidly shrinking right before their very eyes. There stands right in front of them, their very own human sized squid.

Peter slowly unattaches his quivering hands from Remus' perfectly ironed grey trousers. His eyes grew bigger as he carefully watches and arises from the grass dumbfounded.  
"I SAY WE SNEAK HIM UP TO THE COMMON ROOM! Sparks James. Sirius gives a quick gasp as his eyebrows shot up.  
"Brilliant idea! Sneak him under your invisibility cloak and-"  
"What, and you think that will work?!" Remus interrupted, "There's no getting past Mcgonagall with that thing, she's got wits you know."  
The squid looks appalled and gives a slight murmur  
"Weeell... by the looks of it... you shouldn't be allowed going round calling people... 'things'"  
Remus happily ignores the squids murmurs and refuses to retaliate, a skill Remus found very easy to do. Suddenly, without any further words before anyone noticed, James swiftly reaches into his rucksack and whips out a rather mysterious looking cloak, he attempted to offer it to the squid. But the squid scoffed at the mere sight of it, "I'm not wearing _that_. It's hideous." "Oh don't be such a drama queen, it's an _invisibility_ cloak. No one will see you," James assured him. But the squid was having none of it. He didn't need an invisibility cloak. Ignoring them, he began slowly sliding off towards the castle on all tentacles and arms. Sirius however, had a plan, he was quick to grab James' invisibility cloak and chuck it over the unsuspecting squid.

"GET THAT DUSTY OLD SHEET OFF ME WHAT ARE YOU DO-" The squid screeches whilst scrambling around desperately trying to find his way out of the mysterious cloak  
"Quick! Run! Don't let his tentacles slip out!" Sirius shouts from behind.  
Inside the blanket, James has clenched tight to one of the squids tentacles and forcefully drags him along. Tripping up on sticks and pebbles, he notices a very peculiar snail embedded in the grass under the cold shadow behind the huge building. As if a Hollywood slow motion moment comes into perspective, the snails' shell glistens beautifully in the sun showing off all it's deep array of colours. The squids heart curiously skips a beat and gawks at the snail of which he has found a strange attraction to.  
Before he knows it, the squid finds himself in stood in front something very familiar. An enormous marble arch with a sweet old fashioned dark brown wooden door underneath it accommodating two great big hinges on the right hand side. Whilst admiring the beautiful array of black curly lines along the top of it, he works out exactly what he's standing in front of. The front door to Hogwarts.  
The glorious moment is over in a flash as he feels a push from behind tripping him up on the step in front of him, from what only he could gather must be Sirius behind him. He see's James' pale hands reach for the handle, memories of the door come flooding back as he listens to the big creak of it opening. The squid carelessly slips out of the cloak surprisingly easily when he's in no panic and stands there, still, in awe for a few seconds before..  
"REMUS LUPIN" A heavy voice bellowed out from behind them.  
"WHATCHYA GOT THERE?"  
"Oooo the prefect boy is sneaking a prohibited creature into the school!"  
"You know the rules, no squids!"  
It was the paintings, at this point all coming from different directions. However, the boys do not seem at all phased by them as they are so used to the paintings shouting out things at them. Remus, on the other hand, breaks a sweat and shots up to itch the back of his ear.  
James turns to the squid.  
"Come on, get back in the cloak before someone sees you!" Whispered James trying to sound as calm as he can.  
Remus locks the outside of his lips together raising his eyebrows rolling back on his heels for a slight second. Sirius sends a glare in the direction of Remus in retaliation. The uncomfortable silence comes to a halt as all five of them sharply turn their heads to a corner of a hallway where they can hear heavy high heeled shoes smacking the ground in a sharp rhythm.  
"I-i-it's Mcgonagall! Hide!" Blurted out Peter still slightly cowering from the situation he has found himself to land in.  
"GET BACK IN THE CLOAK OR YOU'LL BE COOKED AND PLACED ON THE TABLES IN THE GREAT HALL!" Sirius exclaimed as quietly as he can whilst firmly pushing him back under the cloak.

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?! And where is Mr Potter?!" Mcgonagall questioned sternly, quick to notice James' absence which was a suspicious thing in itself. Quidditch practice." Sirius replied quickly and Remus grimaced slightly. "Convincing as you may seem," Mcgonagall said sarcastically, "I might remind you there is infact no quidditch practice scheduled for the Gryffindor team this evening-" At that point a tentacle came into view as if out of thin air, Mcgonagalls thin lips dropped open at the sight. Beneath the invisibility cloak James was having great difficulty containing the squid, whom was again trying to get out and explore the castle, as the squid scrambled desperately under the cloak one of his many arms tripped James up causing the two of them to fall flat onto the stone floor. James picked up his glasses and put them back on, standing up to see Mcgonagalls horrified face. "Potter! Black! Explain at once!" She demanded appalled. The squid stood back up and began admiring the many changing staircases above them. Before they had chance to respond, she turned to Remus, "And you, Mr Lupin, I thought would have known better, then to attempt to smuggle this-" she turned to the squid who was mesmerised by his surroundings, "-strictly prohibited creature into the school. I shall have to rethink your status as Gryffindor Prefect. You will all report to Professor Dumbledore's office immediately."

Mcgonagall swiftly glides past them whilst heavily dropping her heels on the floor as she sternly leads them to Dumbledore's office. The squid was quite content, enjoying being inside the castle, it was all very exciting for him. Remus wasn't as excited, "I told you this was a ridiculous idea" he muttered, to his great annoyance Sirius was grinning, "Perfect prefect Moony, worried about having your prefects badge taken off you?" "Shut up. You're just lucky that _Filch_ didn't catch us, he would have boiled that stupid squid up for his supper."

The rest of the journey was unpleasantly quiet until they reached the gargoyle in which Mcgonagall firmly said "Sherbert lemon!" to, before it moved aside and revealed the winding stairs leading up to Dumbledore's office. The squid was clumsily falling all over the place excited to meet the Headmaster. They entered the office and the bearded old wizard rose from his desk cheerfully. "Professor, these students were attempting to smuggle this prohibited squid into the school-" said Mcgonagall. "Well that is curious. Surely there is reason behind this?" Dumbledore asked, surveying the squid whom stood in his doorway with the Marauders. After James, Sirius and Remus had explained what exactly had happened, Dumbledore seemed really quite amused, "A truly marvelous story-" He paused as if to continue before he noticed Peter peering hungrily at the dish of Fudge Flies on his desk, "Oh, how terribly rude of me, do help yourselves," And with that the squid grabbed a hand, or rather, tentacle-full of the sweets and Peter looked frightened. "Shall I fetch Hagrid, he is a natural with dealing with unusual creatures of course-" Mcgonagall asked cautiously. "That shan't be necessary, Minerva. The squid is perfectly capable of caring for himself, so I believe... However an emergency sorting shall be in order."

"He's really gone loopy this time!" Sirius muttered excitedly before Remus furiously, although rather confused, elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up. Everyone stared at Dumbledore as if he had grown another head. Mcgonagall raised an eyebrow inquisitively, Dumbledore's eyes twinkled beneath his half-moon spectacles. "Very well." She agreed, still looking quite horrified. Dumbledore looked at the squid for a moment or two before reaching for the Sorting Hat off of the shelf, he flicked specks of dust off it as he turned back to the squid, "I will assume that you have no problems with accompanying him to the Great Hall shortly?" "No, Professor." James replied looking dazed. "Professor, why are squids strictly prohibited from school grounds?" Remus asked suspiciously. Dumbledore seemed to hesitate just before a stack of crumpled old parchments landed in the middle of his desk, evidently he had levitated them nonverbally. He flicked through the parchment until finding one particularly scruffy and old piece. "Uprising of the Squids, 1163..." he muttered to himself as he straightened out the parchment and laid it out on the wooden desk, half of it was burnt black with bits torn off or missing. "Uprising of the Squids?" They asked in disbelief as Remus carefully studied the parchment. "Uprising of the Squids." He confirmed, "When the Ministry was overthrown many centuries ago, by the headmaster of Hogwarts at that time, the Minister lost his position and was furious. A particularly evil man, he sent a fleet of Squids to attack Hogwarts-" "But it's not in any books-" Dumbledore chuckled fondly, "Yes. I was getting to that bit thank you, Mr Lupin. Centuries later, all evidence of the event were destroyed mysteriously, by the Ministry it's believed. This is the only surviving evidence as of this day. Although I would be happy to banish the rule on squids, as they are not creatures that pose any risk."

"You cannot be serious, Albus. Are you certain you wish to enroll a squid?" Mcgonagall asked. "Yes. Hogwarts is the safest place for it. No other living student knows of the rule, I suspect the squid will be happiest here. He shall attend Hogwarts no differently than any other student." Dumbledore reached into a cabinet full of old dusty wand boxes before choosing one and handing it to the squid. The squid felt overwhelmed, he had just been enrolled at a magical school, recieved a wand and was going to be sorted into a house later that evening. He couldn't believe it.


End file.
